1 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,739 Come on, I want to go To the magic shop. 2 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:09,674 Harry, sally, Go get some change. 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,877 We'll wait here With the car. 4 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,918 I got to get new sneakers. My toes are bursting Out of these things. 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,421 I just bought you those Three months ago. 6 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,989 - you know you're A freak, don't you? - leave me alone. 7 00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:27,992 - I'm growing. - if it were just The growing, 8 00:00:27,994 --> 00:00:31,496 But for every inch You sprout, you become That much more insolent 9 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,965 - and do that much Worse in school. - so what? 10 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,468 You're going to become The world's tallest idiot. 11 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,370 Why are you On my case? 12 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,105 I just can't stomach 13 00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:43,408 Another of those interminable Parent-teacher conferences. 14 00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:47,413 Look, I did not ask To be the teenager, okay? You made me. 15 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,481 "Lone star Drilling company." 16 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,250 - I bet they have change. - yeah. Oil men are rich. 17 00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,519 ( techno pop music playing ) 18 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,690 Well, check you out. 19 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,992 You look just like A real woman. 20 00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,097 Thanks. 21 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,332 That's what I was going for. 22 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,302 You know, I still Can't get used to Those mood swings. 23 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,270 Way to commit, girl. 24 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,607 I'll be right back. 25 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,410 Hello. 26 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,481 Are you familiar With the art Of illusion? 27 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,485 Hi there. 28 00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,187 Hi there. 29 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,189 Could you change A dollar? 30 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,191 For you I could Change anything. 31 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:36,027 You know, I don't See a lot of men As good-looking as you. 32 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:39,231 I don't see A lot of men as Good-looking as you. 33 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,239 Well, we're fabulous, Aren't we? 34 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,843 Oh, yeah. 35 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:53,845 ( '50s rock music playing ) 36 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,445 Hello, hello, hello! 37 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,614 You've got A visitor. 38 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:32,250 - dr. Solomon, I'm candace ballard. - hello. What do you want? 39 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,088 I'm tommy's Guidance counselor. 40 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,693 And, by the way, My guidance counselor Might stop by tonight. 41 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,267 Didn't I tell You to become The model student? 42 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,703 - I did. I've aced every test. - then what's she doing here? 43 00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:55,474 I don't know. I'm brilliant, Not clairvoyant. 44 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:58,977 Is it too much to ask that You just once make me A proud father? 45 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,380 It's not my mission To make you proud. 46 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,449 - it is if I say so. - it is not! 47 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,117 - say it's Your mission. - no! 48 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,286 Say it's your mission. Say it, say it. 49 00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,455 It's my mission. 50 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:12,891 ( clears throat ) Is everything All right? 51 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,992 - everything's fine. - then I'll see you la-- 52 00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:18,162 You get back in here And sit down! 53 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,534 - sit down. - thank you. 54 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,536 - give me your coat. - okay. 55 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:44,589 How am I supposed To learn if you keep Letting me out? 56 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,430 ( chuckles ) Well, 57 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,932 I have some news. 58 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:56,968 Maybe you'd Better sit down. 59 00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,903 ( sighs ) 60 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,840 Tommy scored higher On the national Merit quiz 61 00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:04,843 Than anyone In ohio's history. 62 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,913 - it's not my fault! - that's a good thing. 63 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,682 No, that's a good thing. You should be proud. 64 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:12,984 You've raised A very bright boy. 65 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,787 I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? 66 00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,823 You've raised A very bright boy? 67 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,525 No one's ever said That to me before. Say it again. 68 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,694 - well, actually, I wanted-- - no, just say it! 69 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,197 I love that-- The bright boy part. Say it! 70 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,365 Bright boy. In fact, 71 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:30,302 He's done so well, I think he should Transfer 72 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:33,204 To the pickney Country day school For the gifted. 73 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,109 Because I raised A gifted son? 74 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:40,812 Yes! Look at what you've Already given him-- 75 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,148 The stimulation, 76 00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,150 The nurturing, 77 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,585 And not to mention... The genes he inherited. 78 00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:50,889 You're right. I do give a lot As a father. 79 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,992 Oh! 80 00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,630 ( pops ) 81 00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,603 Sally. 82 00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,906 There's something I have to tell you 83 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,908 About your boyfriend. 84 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,243 He cooks, He loves the arts, 85 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,345 He wears great shoes, 86 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,581 And he's single. 87 00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,684 Yeah. What's your point? 88 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,518 Sally, 89 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,520 Marry this man. 90 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,824 Tommy! Come in here! 91 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,826 Tommy! Great news. 92 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,761 I'm sending you To the pickney school 93 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,696 Where our accomplishments Will be recognized. 94 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,299 What?! No, I don't Want to go. 95 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:37,535 - I'll have To leave all my friends. - stop thinking of yourself. 96 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:40,505 Think of me And how proud I'll be. 97 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,675 - he'll go. - wonderful. 98 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:46,845 A little something To graze on. 99 00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,418 I'm out. 100 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,787 I'm out Of the closet. 101 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,827 I love this family. 102 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,767 What is dick's problem? 103 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:13,104 - I don't want to go To the pickney school. - of course you don't. 104 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,006 Your father's A professor. 105 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,742 By rejecting education, You're rejecting him. 106 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:19,811 Rejection's The most powerful Weapon there is. 107 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,780 Well, maybe on earth. 108 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,918 I know this is going To be miserable. I already hate it there. 109 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,687 You know, All those brainy girls Are going to be ugly. 110 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,157 Are you saying that 111 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:36,561 Intelligent girls are, By definition, Unattractive? 112 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,230 Yeah, most Of them are. 113 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:44,235 Oh, w-- Well, not all Of them are. 114 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,272 I mean-- In fact, 115 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:51,509 On the graph of smart Girls and the graph Of pretty ones, 116 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,511 You're the sole Intersection, 117 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:55,513 The single point Of perfection 118 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,149 In an infinity Of stupid and homely. 119 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:04,622 Wow. You are gifted. 120 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,791 Gloria gaynor on sound system: ♪ I will survive ♪ 121 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,227 ♪ as long as I know how to love ♪ 122 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,229 ♪ I know I will stay alive ♪ 123 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,231 ♪ I've got all my life to live ♪ 124 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,233 ♪ I've got all my love to give ♪ 125 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,235 ♪ and I'll survive ♪ 126 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,237 ♪ I will survive ♪ 127 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,339 ♪ hey, hey... ♪ 128 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,776 You're smokin'. 129 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,713 I guess my body Just responds To the classics. 130 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,549 They're having A dance contest Here next week. 131 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,919 - we'd be unbeatable. - especially if we target Our key competition 132 00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,921 And sever their Achilles tendons. 133 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,157 - ( laughs ) - what? 134 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,192 You're just so great. 135 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,528 You're a warrior In a world full of phonies. 136 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,530 You're not afraid To be who you are. 137 00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,665 You're in the military, And you wear a dress. 138 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:51,168 I just want to be All that I can be. 139 00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,404 You're the strongest Person I've ever met. 140 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,307 ♪ somebody new ♪ 141 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,609 I know. 142 00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,646 ( wolf whistle ) 143 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,515 Tommy, we're thrilled To have you here. 144 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,952 Dr. Solomon, As a parent And educator, 145 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,722 Kudos to you. You've raised A very special boy. 146 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,824 Yes, I have. 147 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,326 And you've had The foresight to bring him To the right place. 148 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,495 Well, I am The high commander. 149 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,334 Yes. Well, People of brilliance 150 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,670 Can't be expected To function in a society 151 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,672 That's run By intellectual midgets. 152 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,541 That's what We always say. 153 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,143 ( hearty chuckling ) 154 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,782 Yes, yes, You and tommy 155 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,784 Have found a home here At the pickney. 156 00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:43,054 It's not just for Exceptional students. It's for exceptional parents. 157 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,256 Then you must be Delighted to meet me. 158 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,061 ( knock at door ) 159 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,363 Ah, aramis, thanks For stopping by. 160 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,867 Tommy, consider aramis Pickney's welcome wagon. 161 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,237 I'm here to show you What's wired and what's tired. 162 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,740 Somebody shoot me In the head. 163 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,844 Well, dr. Menard, Now that the children Are away, 164 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:08,246 Let's discuss me At great length. 165 00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:22,160 ( door opens ) 166 00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,095 ( footsteps ) 167 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,266 Oh, hey! How was your day? 168 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,469 Great. I am the king Of dorkopolis. 169 00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,808 My liege. 170 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,148 Tommy. 171 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,485 Lookin' good. 172 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,489 Dick, feelin' Stupid. 173 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,126 Oh, dick! 174 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:58,128 You've got money In your shoes. Ooh! 175 00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:01,032 You've got money In your shoes. 176 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,068 I want money shoes. 177 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,805 Harry, no, Money shoes are For pickney students 178 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,573 And pickney Parents only. 179 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,908 Oh... Rats. 180 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,685 Tommy, look at this. 181 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:23,955 First in your class. You're a genius. 182 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,590 - ( groans ) - you've made me So proud, son. 183 00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:28,592 Is there anything You need? Money? 184 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,594 A ride somewhere? Cuff links? 185 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,698 Can I build you a darkroom? Anything you want-- Name it, it's yours. 186 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,667 I want to go back To my old school. 187 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,602 Cuff links it is. 188 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,734 Don't put Bumper stickers On my car. 189 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:11,702 Why do you think It was me? 190 00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,704 "I am the proud Secretary 191 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,340 For the father Of the smartest Kid at pickney." 192 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,877 It may have been me. 193 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:29,721 Dick, did you see This article about Tommy in the paper? 194 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:33,224 Tommy, my son, The child genius? 195 00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,892 Yes, that tommy. 196 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:37,528 "Finest to compete In pickney's Knowledge bowl. 197 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,530 Smartest kid Expected to win." 198 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,367 ( mutters ) Ah, here it is. 199 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:47,838 "Tommy's father, Dr. Dick solomon, 200 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:51,208 Physics professor At nearby pendleton University, 201 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,911 Reminds people That genius is 202 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,913 1% perspiration 203 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:58,182 And 99% Brilliant father." 204 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,053 You don't think I overstated My influence, do you? 205 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,324 No. 206 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,361 And hip, And hip, 207 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,197 And hip, hip, hip. 208 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,432 Now the arms, And arms, 209 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,601 And out, And in. 210 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,336 And, sally, you're Leading again. 211 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,775 I keep forgetting I'm the girl. 212 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:25,977 Yeah. 213 00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,980 I've got to go. I'm getting My chest waxed. 214 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,950 Uh... Hey, you Want to come? 215 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:35,886 - I've got a coupon. - no, I prefer to tweeze. 216 00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:39,324 Ouch. 217 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,558 I'm not usually Attracted to your type, 218 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,827 But you are Something special. 219 00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:46,697 Well, what you see Is what you get. 220 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:58,709 - so you're Pretty into him, huh? - I think he might be the one. 221 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,313 ( door closes, footsteps ) 222 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,351 Why would I want To wax my chest? 223 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:11,222 Okay, tommy, I read 224 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,390 That you're competing In the knowledge bowl. 225 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,726 - so what? - so, we have to review. 226 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,728 What?! Dick, That's stupid. 227 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,098 I'm the information officer. I know everything. 228 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,433 Maybe, maybe not. 229 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,268 What's that Supposed to mean? 230 00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,104 How about physics... 231 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,139 In russian? 232 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,241 ( speaking russian ) 233 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,580 ( speaking russian ) 234 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:39,884 Wrong. It's... ( speaking russian ) 235 00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:41,552 You asked The question wrong. 236 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,621 If you want it... ( speaks russian ) You should have asked... 237 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,057 ( speaking russian ) 238 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,064 Famous ontologists In greek. 239 00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:56,100 ( speaking greek ) 240 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:02,039 ( speaking greek ) Bryant gumbel. 241 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,477 In the form Of a question. 242 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,379 ( speaking greek ) Bryant gumbel? 243 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,314 Whatever! 244 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:15,119 Poets of The li river delta. 245 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,890 Complete huang po's Classic couplet Of love and betrayal. 246 00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,992 ( speaking chinese ) 247 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,231 ( speaking chinese ) 248 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,834 ( growls ) 249 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,769 ( speaking chinese ) 250 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,874 ( both speaking chinese ) 251 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,253 ( groans ) 252 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,192 Hmm. 253 00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,198 ( chokes ) 254 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:06,403 This isn't even A so-called life. 255 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,405 Oh! Well, 256 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,441 As harry houdini Once said, 257 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,043 Pick a card, Any card. 258 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,045 It's my mission To be a teenager, 259 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,515 But right now I hate my father, I hate my school, 260 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,184 And my life Seems hopeless. Some teenager I am. 261 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,787 - cut the deck. - if I'm going To do my job, 262 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,789 I've got to be In a real school, 263 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:27,224 One with metal detectors And pregnant cheerleaders. 264 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,929 Fold the edges Of your card Ever so slightly. 265 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,431 Why am I even Putting myself Through all this? 266 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,433 So dick can Feel proud? 267 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,871 Pick another card, Add the value, Multiply it by four. 268 00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,139 So, I mean, this Whole thing's crazy. 269 00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:45,142 I'm not dick's son. I'm the information Officer. 270 00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,378 I've got to bring This mission back On course. 271 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,014 Write the number On your arm so that I cannot see it. 272 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,917 - there's only one Thing left to do-- - shuffle. 273 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,852 Sabotage. 274 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,056 All right. We're okay 275 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,559 As long as none Of those are clubs. 276 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,529 Pick a card. 277 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,066 Ta-da! 278 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,572 Remember to phrase Your answer 279 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:18,008 In the form Of an answer. 280 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,744 Okay, next question: 281 00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,279 "Tabula rasa" Is a latin term Meaning what? 282 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:26,250 Tommy knows this one. What's wrong with him? 283 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:29,187 - ( dings ) - "Tabula rasa" 284 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,322 - means blank slate. - that is correct. 285 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,491 - ( grunts ) - he's probably Just nervous. 286 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,426 Relax, damn you! Relax! 287 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,465 Which impressionist Painter 288 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:44,602 Is known for his series Of water lilies? 289 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:47,838 - ( dings ) - that's a very easy One, dr. Menard. 290 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,341 The answer is... 291 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,443 Picasso. 292 00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,812 No! 293 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,981 - ( dings ) - the answer is 294 00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:59,016 Claude monet. 295 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,085 Dr. Solomon, 296 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,220 Competition is Essential to learning. 297 00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,890 Bite me. 298 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,060 What is The outer envelope, Or atmosphere, of gas 299 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,395 Surrounding The sun called? 300 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,230 ( dings ) 301 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,599 Ooh, mmm... That's a toughie. 302 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:18,169 - ( groans ) - dr. Menard: you have 10 seconds. 303 00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,340 ( grunts ) 304 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,908 ( groans ) 305 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:27,578 Hah! 306 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,313 five seconds. 307 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:32,249 Three, two, one. 308 00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,918 It's called the corona! You've been there! 309 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,354 You know that! 310 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:40,191 Dick, come on. He's trying. He's your son. 311 00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,226 Son? He's not my son. 312 00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,161 I have no son! 313 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,466 ( rattles ) 314 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,134 Ah! 315 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,735 Oh. 316 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,208 Let's go win us A contest. 317 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,845 Why don't you wear That little red number You've got? 318 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,581 - it'll look better With my outfit. - but I look so hot. 319 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,583 You must have something Flashier than that. Let me see your closet. 320 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,585 - fine. Help me With the zipper. - don't worry. 321 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:11,488 I'm very good at this. slip out of that dress. 322 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,424 Oh! 323 00:18:20,466 --> 00:18:22,934 Oh! 324 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,502 Look, I've made A big, big mistake. 325 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:28,306 - what's wrong? What did I do? - how can I put this? 326 00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,641 I expected... More. 327 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,712 What, I'm not Your kind of woman? 328 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,214 Oh, sally, 329 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,650 You are a woman. 330 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,223 Well, what did You think I was?! 331 00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,758 ( door closes ) 332 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,273 Wow. 333 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:05,942 I have never seen such Reprehensible behavior. 334 00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:08,912 I don't blame you If you have to Expel tommy. 335 00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,483 Dr. Solomon, We still consider tommy Pickney material. 336 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,619 It is you Who are banned From the pickney. 337 00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,522 I'm banned? Well, guess what. 338 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:22,293 Tommy didn't even Want to come to this Robot factory outlet. 339 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,195 I made him. Me, me, me! 340 00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:28,866 And now I'm putting him Back in a real school Where he can be himself, 341 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,035 The kind of school Where kids aren't judged 342 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,771 On how well they test Or how much they know, 343 00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,240 Where they aren't Judged at all, 344 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,310 Where they have The freedom to stay Faceless and nameless 345 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,312 From "K" through 12, 346 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:44,315 Carrying their diplomas Straight through The golden arches 347 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,952 And on into their Waiting mcjobs! 348 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,721 Come on, tommy. We're going home. 349 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,923 Thank you, sir. 350 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,592 - ( slaps ) - ah! 351 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,233 Dick and tommy were The best of pals. 352 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:05,336 But then, one day, Dick used tommy 353 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:08,005 To make himself Look good. 354 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,908 Now, to get back at him, Tommy used dick 355 00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:14,212 To make dick Look very bad. 356 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:17,415 Now, apart they were Just two separate Handkerchiefs. 357 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,984 - oh, shut up, harry. - shut up, harry. 358 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:23,321 But then, magically, They got back together. 359 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,428 Why did you do That to me? 360 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,698 I don't know. I guess 361 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,433 'cause you made My life suck. 362 00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,869 - why didn't you Just tell me that? - I tried to. 363 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,638 You were Impenetrably happy. 364 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,106 What is it about The father-son Relationship 365 00:20:43,108 --> 00:20:46,443 That makes communication So difficult? 366 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,445 Is it the father Using his son 367 00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,814 To make good on His unfulfilled dreams? 368 00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,850 Or is it the son 369 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,485 Defining himself By rejecting His father? 370 00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:58,556 It's neither. It's both. 371 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:01,558 It's men. 372 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,027 And how did you acquire This new expertise? 373 00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:06,030 Oh, yeah. What happened With glenn? 374 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:08,032 Well, remember When we said 375 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:11,302 That two sexes Must be so limiting? 376 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,537 I think glenn Found a loophole. 377 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:18,375 ♪ I will survive ♪ 378 00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,344 ♪ hey, hey. ♪ 379 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,548 You're A precocious kid, 380 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,550 But this is A game of wisdom. 381 00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,386 All right, old man, 382 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,621 Let's settle this Once and for all. 383 00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:40,897 - checkmate! - oh, damn it! 384 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,969 Oh! 385 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,803 Oh, wait. Look. 386 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,805 My rook can take your-- 387 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:50,407 Oh.